Friday, January 18, 2008

Proof That The Man Was Raised By Hippies

The Man was raised by hippies. Real life hippies. Like, they hung out at Haight-Ashbuy, People’s Park, and shopped at the free stores.

While raising The Man, they were never afraid to openly smoke the good stuff ALL THE TIME around him. I will not go into the horrifying stories that I have heard at this time, but I’m pretty sure The Man had a contact high from conception until he moved out of his parent’s house.

Here is the proof. At the fragile age of 8 ½, The Man wrote this story at school:

January 26, 1987

The Smiling Guy

One day there was a smiling guy and I glued his mouth shut. Then he turned gray. A group of people gathered around as I painted stripes on him. Thunder struck and he spread on the ground like peanut butter. It began to sprinkle and he flew high into the sky. Night came over him and
he turned to toast. He threw himself to the moon. The next afternoon he came to school. It was Tuesday and he couldn't do anything. I don't play with him anymore because it's stupid to try. His glory is to be better than me. Not a chance! He wears grumpy gloves and he sprains and scrapes himself all the time.