Monday, March 10, 2008

A For Effort

I love The Man. With all my heart. And he shows his love by doing the dishes, taking out the garbage, and cleaning the bathrooms. He also shows his love by performing random acts of kindness. Like sending flowers to my office for no reason. And printing “I Love You” on a million pieces of paper and then carefully placing them all over the floor at our house so when I came home, the entire floor was covered in “I Love You.” That’s one of my favorites. The best part about his creativity is that often it is free. You don’t have to spend money in order be romantic.

There was one time when his sweetness did not work on me. It was before The Boy came along, and perhaps even before I began taking medication for depression and obsessive behavior, so we may have been married for as little as one or two years. I feel really badly now about how I responded and I want to say that he should certainly receive an A for Effort for this act of kindness.

I was probably stressed out at work, or maybe I was sick. He made a bubble bath for me. I’m sure he lit candles and had soft music playing, too. What a sweetheart, right? He surprised me with it. And I really love the thought that was put into it.

What’s the problem, then? I FLIPPED OUT. I’m sure you think that’s a rational response to someone fixing a bath for you, right? I do not like baths. Other than when I was a child, I have maybe taken five baths as an adult and I probably hated three of them. I think baths are disgusting, sitting in your own filth, most likely in a filthy to begin with bathtub. Ugh. It gives me the shivers right now just thinking about it.

I don’t remember exactly what happened, and I’m sure The Man didn’t know what was going on. I think I told him I didn’t like baths, that they were gross, and then yelled at him for using half a bottle of my favorite Bath and Body Works shower gel. I was so disgusted at the idea that I didn’t even stop to think what was behind all of this – that he was just trying to do something nice for me. Since then we have discussed it several times and I laugh at how I reacted. I don’t think he laughs. I think I really hurt his feelings and now I feel terrible about how I responded. I feel guilty every time I think about it. So this is the end of the guilt. I want the entire world to know that I acted like a maniac when my husband tried to do an extremely nice thing for me.

Darling, I am sorry that I yelled at you for fixing me a bath. It was a very thoughtful thing for you to do, and I appreciate that you were trying to show me you love me.

There. Done with the guilt.