Monday, March 31, 2008

Reoccurring Dreams/Nightmares

I do believe that dreams can have meaning beyond the dream, something having to do with what’s going on in your life. I also believe that they can just be regular dreams without any meaning.

I would say that reoccurring dreams would tend to be your brains way of telling you something. I’ve had a few in my life.

The first one is falling. I will occasionally have a dream about falling and then when I wake up, the bed is moving and I swear I was levitating over the bed and fell on it to cause that movement. I used to have that one a lot more when I was in high school and a little bit before The Boy came along. I will still have that dream, probably not even once a year now, when it used to be pretty frequent, perhaps once a month?

The chasing dream, too. Same as above; I had this dream more often when I was younger and now, not so much.

Not being able to see someone’s face. I’m usually shorter than everyone standing around me and I go to look up at a face and I’m blinded by the sunlight and I can’t see. It’s very strange. Haven’t had that one in awhile. I don’t remember the timeline of that one either as much as the other ones.

Another dream I used to have was that I could lift up my upper lip, see like a block of molars in the shape of a square on my gums and I would put my palm on it. Gross. I hated that dream and I don’t know what it was about, but I’m glad it’s gone. Blech.

This is one that I cannot even believe that I remember, and I don’t remember any details, but I used to dream about being in a red hot air balloon. It is so strange because I have never been in a hot air balloon, but my brain has come up with a very vivid concept of what it would look like. It’s in a remote area, where there is just tons and tons of green, no houses to be seen, all the way to the horizon it’s like this. And a very specific color of red. No design on it, and I swear if I saw a bunch of red samples put together I could pick out this color. And it was red every time. No thoughts of falling or being in trouble, just floating along looking at the ground is what I remember. I don’t know what that one was about, I probably had that dream every six months for a few years when I was really little, maybe seven or eight, again when I was twelve, and a few times as an adult. But I haven’t had that dream in probably almost ten years. I don’t know what it meant or what caused it to go away.

The dream/nightmare that I am having now is really uncomfortable and I hate it. It’s not going to be pleasant to read either, because it’s gross, so continue at your own risk.

I’ll preface it with the fact that I cannot stand bathrooms. I don’t like germs in general. I tolerate the bathrooms at my house, but I really truly loathe public restrooms, even the ones at my office, which are nice actually, as far as office restrooms go. I get all tense when I go inside of a bathroom, public restrooms are worse. I try to touch as little as possible, wash my hands really thoroughly, and use paper towels all the way out to turn off the water, open doors, etc.

So the circumstance of the dream varies, i.e., different locations, people, etc., but the theme is the same.

A couple of things happen:

First, I cannot get any privacy. It’s like one huge communal bathroom and there are no doors, just toilets everywhere. I sit down to go to the bathroom and people walk in or people are wandering around in the open space. I can’t go when I don’t have privacy (in real life and in my dream). I cannot imagine anyone being able to in this situation (except maybe guys because they do that?). Sometimes I’m in a house and there are two doors to the bathroom but only one of them locks. Or there is a bathroom with locks on all the doors, but there are windows everywhere. And whatever is going on, there are people all over the place.

Second is that the toilets are clogged. I’ll go into each stall and it’s just overflowing with gross stuff. I won’t even go into details here, it’s gross enough without it.

Finally, nothing is clean. There is water (urine?) puddled on the floor, the seat covers are wet and sticking to the seats, there is sand/hair/mud in the sinks. Mostly everything is wet and I don’t know what the “wet” is.

Ick, ick and more ick. I don’t know what these are about but if I could figure it out and deal with whatever it is, I would. I would take months off of work and go to therapy forty hours a week to get rid of this dream. I hate it. And I haven’t had it very long. Maybe in the last year, maybe eighteen months. I have it a lot though, as often as every night, as little as two or three times a month. Any ideas? Okay, you mull that over in your head while I go vomit. In the kitchen sink.

The focus in the dream is not the need to urinate. I don’t have to go really badly or anything. The problem is frustration with not being able to find a clean, private place to go.

I trying to find out the meaning of this dream, I found this site. The first two paragraphs were of use to me, but I didn’t read the rest (can’t be on the internet at work, remember?).

I also found these offerings:

“Any place that represents purification or refreshment to you. A messy bathroom may suggest an area of your life that requires attention or cleansing. Needing to cleanse or detoxify.”

Dream Lover Inc.

Now I’m off to detoxify myself. I’m not sure how, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with a nap, Starbucks, and my most recent issue of Domino magazine.


Catherine said...

Dreams are freaky. I could go on and on about my recurring dreams. I'm happy to report that the REALLY disturbing ones have quit happening. Like the dream where my teeth were falling out one by one. EWW! Or the dream where I was lost in Las Vegas. What the--??? Or all those dreams about high school frenemies. Blech!

Here's hoping your bathroom dream doesn't recur anymore!