Friday, May 30, 2008

It's My Job and I'll Quit if I Want To

I quit today. Technically, I gave advanced notice that I would be quitting on Friday, June 13th. Friday the 13th. Hmmmm, bad luck for them, good luck for me!

All day the seconds were ticking by so slowly. I could hear them teasing me, threatening to start going backwards any moment. I'm pretty sure time stood still at least twice today.

Then, at 4 p.m., Crazy Ex Boss came in and started visiting with everyone and I started to sweat. Listen lady, you're cramping my style, kind of trying to quit here? She left and I picked up the phone to call Female Boss.

Then a co-worker walks back to her desk and the two of them and a couple of other girls start chatting and laughing. HELL-OOOO!!! Can't everyone see that I am BURSTING with news? Get the hell out of here! It's Friday afternoon, don't you have somewhere to be? Like, I don't know, GO HOME. Finally they leave and I think I'm free.

THEN, Quiet Boss starts fussing about how he can't find something and Female Boss is making him look for it himself, blah blah. He's hanging all around my desk asking me for stuff. I'm like, LISTEN, GO TO YOUR ROOM AND CLOSE THE DOOR. I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE! He calms down a little and goes into his office.

I FINALLY get to call Female Boss into Boss Man's office (Boss Man was out for the day). She comes in and asks what is going on. I tell her that I am giving her my letter of resignation and hand her the letter I had ready in an envelope. It was the biggest relief. I had a killer headache all day and I knew exactly why. As soon as I told her the headache went away.

Up next: HER REACTION. I wasn't sure if she was going to mask the feelings and be like Oh yes, I KNEW this was coming, because that would so be something she would say. OR, I thought I might be looking at the business end of a hissy fit.

I got neither reaction. She was very surprised, as anyone would be in her position. I doubt many employers expect their employees to quit when their husbands just got laid off. She asked about what I was going to do and said she did not blame me at all and what a wonderful opportunity, blah blah. Then it was awkward. Because I wanted to jump up and do The Happy Dance and sing "The Wicked Witch is Dead" and she wanted to keep sitting there in awe. She was blocking my way to the door so I was kind of stuck. I just sat there while she took it in. She eventually got up.

Once I escaped Boss Man's office, I went into Quiet Boss' office and closed the door. I told him and here is his reaction, with no expression, no emotions in his eyes: "Oh. I'm sorry." Uh, no you dumbass, I'M quitting YOU. You aren't letting me go. I'm leaving. Because of you. Well, not just because of you, but you sure as heck didn't help matters any. What a robot. Okay, see you later FUSSY.

I told HR (that's Human Resources, not an actual person), and then I left! I have not smiled this much in about TWO YEARS. And I wasn't blogging back then. So to my blogging world I say this: WATCH OUT, because you have not seen what happy looks like. You will want to hit me with the Super Sad Stick and tell me that I must drink decaf because I'm going to be all high energy, talking about birds chirping, puppies panting, general disgusting positive sentiment.

And I would like to introduce you to someone: The Real Me. Enjoy.


New Kate Says said...

YOU GO GIRL! Sometimes I wish I could just up and quit my job. I think it may be a relief too if I did.

Kelvin Kao said...

Yay for you! :-)