Friday, May 2, 2008

MIL E-Mail

When my mother-in-law had a job, she had access to internet and e-mail and my In-Box was flooded with stupid e-mails ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY.

The modern day chain letter e-mail:

“Pass this on to 150 friends or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.”

Please. Like I know 150 people’s e-mails addresses. Who the heck has 150 friends?!? I’ll take my chances with the bad luck.

The cautionary e-mail:

“Don’t pull paper towels from the dispenser at public restrooms because people are hiding dirty needles in there. Also, when you go to the gas station, you have to find a way to pump gas without getting out of your car because people are hiding under your car waiting to slice your ankles up. Finally, don’t eat off of the tables at restaurants because people snort cocaine off the tables when nobody’s looking.”

Hasn’t anyone heard of Snopes or Truth or Fiction, or am I the only one? I used to send the links just to her to show her that these tales were false. I hoped she would get the hint and knock it off. She didn’t. Finally I got sick of it so I got the link to Snopes where it said it was false and then I REPLIED TO ALL WITH HISTORY and said, Stop sending me this crap, it’s not for real you gullible old bag!!! She stopped sending them to me.

The boycotting e-mail:

“Gas prices are too high (this was back when it was $2.01 a gallon), so nobody buy gas on May 5th.”

This is the dumbest idea I have EVER HEARD. Then all you have is people either flooding the gas stations the day before or the day after because guess what? EVERYBODY WHO DRIVES A CAR WILL NEED GAS EVENTUALLY. I hate feeling like I’m a genius because I know that I’m not and it scares me that there are this many people with an IQ below mine who are allowed to function in society.

Anyway, she quit her job and she and my father-in-law live in a cave and therefore have never had internet access. EVER. I am so serious. But it was the biggest relief ever. My In-Box has never felt so free. I felt so free. No more stupid e-mails.

Then they moved out of their cave into a small cottage, and now have internet access. I received my first e-mail the other day from her, one of the cautionary tales. The kind you can look up on Snopes. I looked it up. It wasn’t true. I cried.


Annie said...

Too funny. I have a couple of people in my life like that. They never ge the hint, do they?

Jenny said...

I did the EXACT SAME THING when my uncle kept sending me those emails but it actually worked for me.

Sometimes you can teach an old dog new tricks. Sometimes.