Monday, June 30, 2008

Curses on Sunday

I wrote this on Father's Day and I didn't post it because I didn't want to make a rash decision when I was angry. Now that I go back and read it when I'm not angry, I think it's funny. So I'm going to post it. It's honest and I want The Boy to see everything we go through, even the ugly times. It's not always easy dude.

I would like to preface this post with this: I love The Man. He is an excellent husband and father. I am a wreck this morning and this is what I am feeling. I'm not being nice and I know it. I'm going to say it anyway, but just know I still love him and still think he's a great man. The Boy knows we fight. We don't hide it from him. We try to fight fairly in front of him. I know that these words are not fair fighting. And to that I say, Hunny Bear, sometimes we are human and we don't fight fairly, but we still love each other. Actually, he currently has NO CLUE that anything bad has happened this morning. I feel good about that much.

Hi, welcome to the WRATH OF MOMMY, a similar environment to the LAKE OF FIRE. To answer the question that I KNOW is running through The Man's head right now - NO, I DID NOT TAKE MY PILL THIS MORNING, OKAY?!? And I didn't take it yesterday either.

What does that mean? It means I'm a little f$%*ing irrational. Am I TRYING to ruin "YOUR" Father's Day? NO. But it becomes my goal to do so when you ask me that.

Please note that IN EXCHANGE FOR BITING YOUR HEAD OFF, I am being an EXCELLENT mother to The Boy. Because I blew off steam at you, a person who SHOULD understand, I did not yell at The Boy for no reason, a person who CANNOT understand.

You will never understand what I have been through this morning, or what I am going to go through for the rest of the day (I didn't even know what I was going to go through that day. I just had a feeling). What really hurts though is that you don't even care. No. This morning is supposed to be ALL ABOUT YOU and I'm just here to RUIN THE PARTY. Well, guess what pal? (Did I just say pal? What is this, an after school special?) You wouldn't even BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE a father today if it weren't for ME.

Do you know what else? Even though I have not taken my medication, my feelings are still valid. They might have been less intense if I had taken my pill, but I still would have had these feelings. I may have acted in a way that didn't make you want to have me committed, but I still would have been angry and hurt. Just because I missed out on a couple of pills doesn't mean my feelings aren't real or important.

I have done SO much this morning JUST FOR YOU. In fact, I started doing things YESTERDAY that would benefit you this morning. I made lists and packed things and did laundry. I spent time drying my hair so it would look nice for you, instead of letting it air dry and be all wild and crazy, which is easier for me. I am wearing a dress that you think I look fabulous in, even though I am self conscious about the way I look in it. I'd rather be wearing sweats. I got up with The Boy so as not to disturb you in your routine. I kept everything organized so that all you would have to do is walk out the door when you were ready. I listened to you, encouraged you, appreciated you.

Here is the response I got based on your actions.

1) "I can't remember to wash your coffee stuff because coffee doesn't matter to ME, so it must not be important."
(I'd wash it myself but the sink is FULL of dishes, p.s. that's YOUR job)

2) "I don't care what you wanted The Boy to wear, today is Father's Day and he'll wear what I picked."
(I hope he spills all over your precious outfit s#!$head)

3) "You are not worth traveling across town to pick up, AND you aren't even worth STANDING OUTSIDE FOR TWO MINUTES to hand you the car keys."
(F&#$ you a$$&0!@)

Here is what I think you should do. Get your a$$ back in the car and come pick me up. Before you get here, go to Starbucks and order my favorite drink. Which you know because YOU JUST LOVE ME THAT MUCH. You will pick us up in the PRINCESS EXPRESS, drive casually back to church while I am allowed to relax and sip on my favorite coffee drink.

In summary, I HOPE YOU HAVE A Happy Father's Day. Punk.


moo said...

I love how men think that women are all IRRATIONAL and SELFISH when, in fact, they themselves could use a time out?

Adored how you called him "punk." Highlight of my morning.

Fabulously Broke said...

Yep. Men need a time out sometimes. Crankiness begets crankiness.