Wednesday, September 17, 2008

And I Meant It

"Insert child's full name as stated when child is in big trouble!" says my dad. "Keep your voice down. Don't you think that is already a concern of ours?" he said.

What the hell did I care? It would be a great benefit to the WORLD at this point if he were no longer here. I don't really remember any more of the conversation. I went to bed and didn't sleep well.

Either the first night or the next day, I realized that my parents weren't going to kick him out of the house. I wasn't asking them to choose, but I wasn't going to live in the house with a child molester.

At the time, the person who I thought was my best girlfriend was living with her boyfriend. He was verbally and physically abusive to her and she wanted to get out of the house but couldn't afford to live on her own. We agreed to move into an apartment together and she would break up with her boyfriend.

As a side story, and to make another VERY LONG story short, she never did break up with him, he ended up trying to kill himself in our apartment, and three months later I moved out on my own.

My parents were not happy with my decision to move out. My dad said I was abandoning my mother. I'm sorry, who is the adult? Children cannot abandon their parents. That is the definition of being a parent. Raise them and they go away. It's not called abandoning, it's called growing up. They just didn’t like the timing.

Obviously, that was the real reason they didn't want me to move out. But they turned it into something else. They said my friend wasn't a Christian and by entering into a legal agreement with her, I was "unequally yoked." Therefore I was "living in sin" and they got me kicked off as a youth leader at the church we were attending.

To that I have to say two three things:

1. She was Catholic and they don't deem Catholics to be "Christians." Who are they to judge anyone's "Christianity?"

2. I was 18. I should have been old enough to do what I wanted without being under their rules. If the church didn't have a problem with my living with my friend, it shouldn't have mattered what my parents thought.

3. Nobody I have ever discussed this issue with agrees with my parents. I have clearly presented all of the information, including the fact that our family was in a state of great turmoil, and should I have stayed?

I lived in that apartment for three months. Since the day I was born, I had either seen or spoken to my mother every single day of my life. I wouldn’t say we were close by any means, but we were in constant contact. She was a stay at home mom and my dad traveled A LOT so I didn’t see him very much. But for those next three months, my mom did not call me one single time. Not on my cell phone, not on the house phone. Nothing. We saw each other at church and that was it. Talk about ABANDONMENT.

And mind you, this terrible thing didn’t just happen to them. It happened to me too. Because no matter how “adult” you think you are, the age of 18 is still the age of a child.

Moving on.


flutter said...

you are absolutely right.

Manic Organic said...

Sucks. Parents can be such idiots. I so hope I am doing it right. No matter what happened back then, It created the person you are today...a person I like...a person fun to be, loving, compassionate and passionate. Able to be completely pissed and completely kind. Not many people can be anything completely. So, thanks mom and dad for that.