Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Basics

My brother got married in February of this year. Here is what I understand from the stories I heard from my parents, who flew out to go to the wedding. Her sister HAS her two front teeth (and that's it), and has a couple of kids with different dads. The girl my brother married, her parents are divorced and alcoholics and stuff. And I think she lives with these people who she calls mom and dad, the dad is a pastor. That's what I know. No judging on any of that stuff, just saying what it is. Depending on what my brother told her, he could seem like a real prize compared to all that.

I DON'T know what my brother has told her about his life. So far I could have cared less.

My grandparents, after much back and forth, have recently been including my parents in correspondence and they've been going to lunches with them. Of course, NOBODY THINKS TO INCLUDE ME IN THIS REPARATION OF RELATIONSHIPS. I'm left behind. Recently, my shrink finally got me to call my grandparents one time and I spoke with my grandmother for about 15 minutes. That was about six months ago. It was the most difficult thing I have had to do in a really long time, picking up that phone and dialing those numbers. I haven't heard from them since.

You have the basics so far. Brother screwed up, family torn apart, I moved out, was told I was being selfish, I got married, I didn't seek emotional help, brother moved away, brother got married.

I would like to stop here and say a few things. I don't think my parents did a good job raising my brother and myself. I know that's a really harsh thing to say, but it's the truth. I don't think they had good examples. I think they tried their hardest to be good parents with the knowledge they had. I have tried my hardest to let go of resentment for their lack of parenting skills. I bring this up because I chose to go to work for my dad and I still try to have a relationship with both of them that resembles a parent/child relationship, or even a friendship, although a distant friendship at that. I enjoy working for my dad, and the freedom it bring me. And he's a great boss. But I'm about to complain about some stuff and I don't want people to be like Well then why did you even go work for him? He's a good person. I'm just having a hard time with this right now. And my brother is not my own child, so I can't understand why my dad is doing the things he is doing.

Now the reasons why I'm even bothering to tell you any of my story.

When I started working for my dad, about two weeks in he says to me: "What would you think of your brother moving back and coming to work here?"