Monday, September 15, 2008

WHY Am I Doing This?

I am a terrible friend. Remind me of this the next time I complain about having no friends.

This girl, R, who I used to work with at my old job, she stayed my friend when she got laid off. I really wasn't expecting it and I really appreciated it. I thought, Wow, she's a real friend.

Then I changed jobs and I haven't been there for her. I have been so busy and involved in my new job and I haven't dedicated any time to her. She has texted me, e-mailed me, left me a voice mail, commented on MySpace, etc. And I HAVE NOT RESPONDED. AT ALL. The weird thing is, I have no reason to not call her. I just don't feel like it. What is THAT about? Why WOULDN'T I want to call her? She doesn't even have a fatal flaw (yet).

Any insight? Seriously. I'm going to make myself e-mail or call her TODAY, but why would I do this when I complain about people not being true friends to me?


Manic Organic said...

This happens to me so often. I think I have association disorder, or attachment disorder. I just don't cling, depend, or require people unless I am closely associated with them. I'll even think "I don't know what I would do without this person" and then I, or they, move on and it's no biggie. I feel this way about family also, except my husband and kids. I have to try so hard to keep in contact and it really feels like an obligation. There really must be something wrong with me. But I also don't want to do things out of obligation only. I want there to be SOME desire on my part. Otherwise it feels so fake.